The Billionty-Oneth Geek: Older Than 8 Since 1991

A late Friday afternoon posting! It's been a few months since I've done any Review Haikus , so here you go. From Paris With Love Parisian action! Meyers with pedo moustache; Travolta's all wrong. Morel's third feature. D-13 was way more fun . Taken was better. Jennifer's Body Megan Fox love fest. Blood and guts good for gore hounds; Acting weak; cast cheap. Was fun but not great. Getting too old for this shit. But I love horror. Law Abiding Citizen Plot was too contrived. Bloodier than I had thought. Hurrah! Colm Meaney! Foxx was passable. Butler is in everything! I did fall asleep. ===== Seeya next week! Later geeks!

It's time for another edition of Review Haikus; a feature I like to write when I'm too lazy to write out full reviews~!!! The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3 Tony Scott schlockfest~! All his movies seem the same. A needless remake. Denzel's a bad-ass. Given up on Travolta. 1 of 2 ain't bad. Public Enemies Well? Disappointed. I expected more from Mann. The pacing felt off. Acting was good though. Man-crush on Depp and Bale. 5 more syllables! Saw VI Yes, another Saw. Harder to tell them apart. Blood, guts, bad story. Why more Saw movies? Each movie makes less and less. End this series now. ====== Later geeks!

It's been quite a while since I've done some review haikus. My creative juices haven't been that strong lately, but here are a few! Up Opening was sad. Didn't know boy was asian I like talking dogs! So I enjoyed this; Delightful and heartwarming. Way to go Pixar! 12 Rounds John Cena acting! As horrible as the plot. Why did I watch this? So in conclusion, WWE, Stop making movies! (Note: the only thing I really enjoyed was hearing Cena say the word 'fuck' every now and then. So much for the PG wrestler! Sorry, I know this aside isn't a haiku.) A Perfect Getaway Good acting throughout. Zahn and Olyphant were gold. Milla still a babe. Fun little thriller. Didn't know what to expect. Good twist in act 2. ========= That's it for now, later geeks!

Well, needless to say, I watch a lot of movies but most of them don't get reviewed on my blog because either a.) the movies suck too much and not worth my time, b.) were too mediocre or c.) not geeky enough. So in the interest of fairness, from now on, if any movies I watch fall into any of the above categories, I now reserve the right to write (homonyms yay!) short haiku reviews of the movies in question instead of a full fledged review. On to the fun! And here... we... go. The Uninvited Korean remake; Was better than expected; Not too much on scares. Banks played a good bitch; Browning pretty good in lead; Kebbel is a babe. The Day the Earth Stood Still (remake) Shames original; It tries to make a statement; Felt very hollow. Reeves was good in role; Jaden... let dad do acting; John Cleese was surprise. The Spirit What a crock of shit; Waste of talented actors; Lion's Gate, you fail! Fell asleep for half; Frank Miller, stick with writing; No more films for you! Punisher: ...