The Billionty-Oneth Geek: Older Than 8 Since 1991

After two lacklustre offerings (in X3: Last Stand and X-Men Origins: Wolverine ), X-Men: First Class explodes on to the screen with a face melting goodness not seen since X2 . It is a triumphant return and a return to form in the X-Men franchise. Set in the 60’s amidst the Cuban missile crisis, X-Men: First Class depicts the early days and the inception of the X-Men. As such, we see the origin of the friendship between Xavier (Professor X) and Erik (Magneto), destined rivals. Being an expert in mutants, Xavier is recruited by the CIA to assist in capturing a suspected mutant threat in the form of Sebastian Shaw and his Hellfire Club – a band of mutant miscreants. It’s Shaw who wants to stimulate a third World War in an effort to attain mutant supremacy. However, the CIA and the Xavier’s new team of young mutants are hot on their trail and attempt to thwart his plans in causing nuclear strikes. Meanwhile, Erik has his own agenda and seeks the blood of Shaw for the murder of his...

First thing's first. When the trailers first came out late last year, it boggled my mind. First of all, the movie is called Karate Kid ... karate... a Japanese style of martial arts, which would be fine except that the movie seemingly took place in China. So, okay, I thought, maybe they would relate to karate in someway during the movie... yet during the trailer, all they talked about was Kung Fu (the Chinese form of martial arts). Uh, brain, are you there, hello? So unfortunately, there is no explanation (at least in context of the movie) of why they called it Karate Kid . The kid learns kung fu and all they talk about is kung fu. As I watched the movie, I thought they'd throw in a joke about karate, but none would be had. As I recall, the word karate wasn't even used once. So in conclusion, it was just a business maneuver to capture that nostalgia market. I mean, would it be a stretch to call the movie "Kung Fu Kid". I'm sure that the nostalgic demog...

Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time is the first huge budget video-game-to-movie adaptation in a while. But with failure after failure in other franchises, will Prince of Persia be the movie that finally brings success to the genre or will it be another dud? Prince of Persia tells the story of a young prince named Dastan, who when a child, was nothing but a lowly thief scouring the streets of Persia. After a chance meeting with the king where he witnessed Dastan's courage, he was led to adopt him into his royal family. Dastan, now older, fights alongside his brothers, protecting the land of Persia from their neighbouring enemies. On one particular battle, Dastan comes across a sacred dagger, a treasure to their enemies, with the power to reverse time. During a celebration after the battle victory, an act of treason occurs within the royal family and Dastan finds himself in the middle of a ploy orchestrated by someone close to him. Along with Princess Tamina, from the neighbourin...

I was having a conversation with my brother the other day about this year's summer blockbuster movies. I concluded that there weren't many movies that I was hyped up for (but Inception and Predators are two of them). He brought up Iron Man 2 , but I just didn't feel as pumped as I was before I saw the first one. I guess because I've already seen him on the screen, it took a bit of the edge off. But I went to see it on opening day anyways. So how was it? The movie takes place a few months after the first one ended. We follow Tony Stark as he fully embraces being publicly known as the Iron Man. He showboats and galavants like the true star he made himself to be, famed for "privatizing peace" as he boldly claims. But not everyone is so enamored with Stark's swagger. The first is Ivan Vanko, a Russian who's father was Howard Stark/Tony's father's former partner. The two had a falling out, and Vanko the senior was deported while Howard receiv...

My review of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is now up on Attack This! The short and skinny: I didn't hate it as I thought I would of. You can view the full review ( here ).

By no means was this a great movie. At the same time, I don't think it deserves to be labeled as the atrocity that many in the geekdom claim it is. This movie was the first directorial effort by the Wachowski brothers in 5 years after their epic saga with The Matrix. During the last few years as the movie was being developed, it left many in the geek world confused as why the brothers were doing this film. The whole production and post-production was shrouded in secrecy, further mystifying the creation they would unleash on the mass public. When it finally arrived, it didn't arrive with a boom... it was more of a whimper... and it quietly went away with its tail between its legs. This movie was visual eye candy at its very best. The only way I can describe its style is this: imagine eating a large pack of Crayola Crayons, then vomitting, and filming everything that came out. Stick a few colourful Lego Men in the mess, and you have Speed Racer. That said, Speed Racer doe...

Shit fuckin' ruled. You've probably seen it already.

Guillermo Del Toro is a fucking genius. This is soooo the movie I wanted Pan's Labyrinth to be. I'm quite sure that if Pan's expanded on its fantasy universe with all its creatures and dwellings, we would get what was presented in Hellboy 2: The Golden Army. Although I liked the first movie (liked, not loved), I had problems with it. The pacing seemed to slow the movie down especially in the large middle section. As well, the character I found the most fascinating, Abe Sapien, was hardly in the movie. It was fun, but hardly the rollercoaster action ride that this was. It seems that Del Toro has fined his craft with Pan's Labyrinth, and fixed the issues I had in HB1 with this movie. This movie was filled with non-stop action; the pace never slowed down. That said, there were mmoents where you were allowed to catch your breath before getting on the next rollercoaster. The CG work was fantastic, and all the battles were superb (Earth God and Final Boss in particular...

This doesn't require a long review. See this movie. It is great. There is so much charm and heart filled in this 100 minute feature that it can hardly contain itself. Before seeing this movie, I read a few glowing reviews claiming that this was the best Pixar feature to date. I mean I knew it would be at least a decent feature, I don't think Pixar understands how to make a bad movie, but those were weighty statements given that Toy Story , Finding Nemo , and The Incredibles were amongst its successful repetoire. Having seen the movie now, I agree with those critics. As a geek, I should be marking for The Incredibles , which I did love, but Wall-E just had a ton of more heart, if not the same amount of charm and sophistication. If you've seen the trailers, you know the main plot: lonely robot works on Earth, one day meets a new sleek pretty robot, love at first sight occurs, lonely robot travels across the galaxy to reconnect with sleek pretty robot. The plot is simp...

Admittedly, I've never seen The Sixth Sense . The only reason is that the ending was spoiled for me before I got the chance, so I just felt like I wouldn't get that same jaw-dropping surprise at the end as (unspoiled) first time viewers would. However, having seen bits and pieces of it, I respected the material, and the director for that matter. With Unbreakable and Signs , under M. Night's belt, it seemed what we had here was a gifted storyteller; capable of creating an atmosphere and suspense. He followed those up with The Village , which generally received a mix reaction, but for the most part I enjoyed it. Even though there were issues with the way he cut it, I thought he still managed to craft an interesting story. Then came Lady in the Water. Something had gone awry here. I have no doubt that if he were to remove all that self-referential bullshit, that it would have been alright. This was more of a rant than a movie. But you know, at least it had good act...

The Incredible Hulk is the second feature produced by Marvel Studios after May's release of Iron Man . This was not a sequel to the 2003 version by Ang Lee nor was it a remake; simply put, it was Marvel hitting the reset button and starting over again. And if this film is any indication of what Marvel has in stored for the future, then things are looking good for the geekdom. The movie starts off with a quick summary of the Hulk's origin, all done within the opening credits. The movie then catches up to Bruce Banner who is in hiding from American authorities while trying to discover a cure for his condition. He has cut off all communication with the world except for one mysterious character known as Mr. Blue, who he communicates through instant messaging. The American military led by General Thunderbolt Ross tracks down his whereabouts and sends a group of soldiers to capture him in order to exploit his condition. Banner, who escapes their attacks eventually ends up back in A...

The Hollywood of late has seemed to think it's their duty to tap into our nostalgia; by producing sequels to movies we saw in the 80s, producing remakes, or bringing cartoons to film (eg. this film, Transformers , Rambo , the upcoming G.I. Joe , remake of F13th [much to my chagrin], etc.). For the most part, it seems to be paying off, at least financially and at the same time, it's all great for the world of geek, but is it right? I mean, there's a certain part of that nostalgic feeling that is taken away when you view it's more newer incarnation and then go back and view it's older predecessors. To me, it just seems like we're cheapening our memories and feelings for the original material all for just a mediocre-to-cheap thrill. That brings us to this film, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skulls . I don't want to get into too much of the plot as it can get spoilerific. I'll use the synopsis from IMDB: "Famed archaeologist/adventurer ...