Skip to main content

REVIEW HAIKUS!!!! (#1)

Well, needless to say, I watch a lot of movies but most of them don't get reviewed on my blog because either a.) the movies suck too much and not worth my time, b.) were too mediocre or c.) not geeky enough. So in the interest of fairness, from now on, if any movies I watch fall into any of the above categories, I now reserve the right to write (homonyms yay!) short haiku reviews of the movies in question instead of a full fledged review. On to the fun! And here... we... go.

The Uninvited

Korean remake;
Was better than expected;
Not too much on scares.

Banks played a good bitch;
Browning pretty good in lead;
Kebbel is a babe.







The Day the Earth Stood Still (remake)

Shames original;
It tries to make a statement;
Felt very hollow.

Reeves was good in role;
Jaden... let dad do acting;
John Cleese was surprise.







The Spirit

What a crock of shit;
Waste of talented actors;
Lion's Gate, you fail!

Fell asleep for half;
Frank Miller, stick with writing;
No more films for you!







Punisher: War Zone

Tried to be Batman;
Acting... story... all were bad;
Marvel, stop this shit.

Action was gory;
And Stevenson looked the part;
There ends all the goods.

Comments

Kevin said…
Ha- this is creative. Not quite Shakespeare- but I like it.
Samuel M. said…
Your Spirit review was dead on. I was so disappointed with that. I went in KNOWING it was going to be bad, thus lowering expectations, and they STILL managed to be worse than my bottom-of-the-barrel hopes I had for it. I, too, fell asleep several times during the film and I wasn't particularly tired.

Popular posts from this blog

REVIEW HAIKUS!!!! (#3)

It's time for another edition of Review Haikus; a feature I like to write when I'm too lazy to write out full reviews~!!! The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3 Tony Scott schlockfest~! All his movies seem the same. A needless remake. Denzel's a bad-ass. Given up on Travolta. 1 of 2 ain't bad. Public Enemies Well? Disappointed. I expected more from Mann. The pacing felt off. Acting was good though. Man-crush on Depp and Bale. 5 more syllables! Saw VI Yes, another Saw. Harder to tell them apart. Blood, guts, bad story. Why more Saw movies? Each movie makes less and less. End this series now. ====== Later geeks!

Sam Raimi's Dragging Someone To Hell!!!

It's great to see Sam Raimi back in his form with his latest entry Drag Me To Hell . Simply glorious, it is a horror geek's dream. This is the Sam we all know and love from Evil Dead 2 and Army of Darkness , before he got all caught up in the comic book geek universe of Spider-Man . After 10 years (from the first time I watched Evil Dead 2 ), he has remained my favourite film director... although he did try my patience with Spider-Man 3 . I know this euphoria that I'm feeling now will be short lived, as even as I type this review, Raimi is already at work on the pre-production of Spider-Man 4 (yay?). So what is there to say about Drag Me To Hell ? This is the way a summer movie should be, touching on all those senses that make movie going an actual experience. There were thrills, chills, laughs and cheers; the way things should be! Drag Me To Hell tells a story of a young loan officer named Christine, who in an effort to advance her own career, has to turn down a

Lt. Aldo Raine wants his scalps!!!!!!!!!!!!

I missed The Inglorious Basterds during its theatrical run and it's a shame too because I'm a fool for Tarantino movies. But I finally got to see it this weekend and I'm happy to say that I mostly enjoyed it. I don't think it's his best movie, but it was damned entertaining. The Inglorious Basterds takes place during World War II and tells its story by following three different groups of characters: from Lt. Aldo Raine and his squad of soldiers infamously known as the Basterds, Col. Hans Landa, a Nazi colonel better known as "The Jew Hunter", and from a young Jewish girl named Shosanna, who had her family murdered by Col. Landa. We follow the Basterds in their Nazi killing business (and business is good) as they lay out a plan to take out several high ranking officials all at once. We follow Shosanna as she operates her theater and lays down her own plans in exacting revenge on the Nazis. And of course, the "Jew Hunter" is hot on their trai