Posted by The Lam | Apr 21, 2009
REVIEW HAIKUS!!!! (#1)

Well, needless to say, I watch a lot of movies but most of them don't get reviewed on my blog because either a.) the movies suck too much and not worth my time, b.) were too mediocre or c.) not geeky enough. So in the interest of fairness, from now on, if any movies I watch fall into any of the above categories, I now reserve the right to write (homonyms yay!) short haiku reviews of the movies in question instead of a full fledged review. On to the fun! And here... we... go.

The Uninvited

Korean remake;
Was better than expected;
Not too much on scares.

Banks played a good bitch;
Browning pretty good in lead;
Kebbel is a babe.







The Day the Earth Stood Still (remake)

Shames original;
It tries to make a statement;
Felt very hollow.

Reeves was good in role;
Jaden... let dad do acting;
John Cleese was surprise.







The Spirit

What a crock of shit;
Waste of talented actors;
Lion's Gate, you fail!

Fell asleep for half;
Frank Miller, stick with writing;
No more films for you!







Punisher: War Zone

Tried to be Batman;
Acting... story... all were bad;
Marvel, stop this shit.

Action was gory;
And Stevenson looked the part;
There ends all the goods.

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3 comments so far.

  1. Late Night Laundry April 22, 2009 at 8:24 AM
    Ha- this is creative. Not quite Shakespeare- but I like it.

  2. The Lam April 22, 2009 at 3:57 PM
    Thanx Kev!

  3. Horatio May 1, 2009 at 5:05 PM
    Your Spirit review was dead on. I was so disappointed with that. I went in KNOWING it was going to be bad, thus lowering expectations, and they STILL managed to be worse than my bottom-of-the-barrel hopes I had for it. I, too, fell asleep several times during the film and I wasn't particularly tired.

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