Skip to main content

DTV Madness: Titanic 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I bet you never thought that they'd make this movie. Well, you're right. Technically, "they" didn't. But someone else did! Yup, our good friends at Asylum Films, who brought us such mockbusters as Transmorphers, The Da Vinci Treasure and The Day the Earth Stopped, produced this spiritual sequel to one of the biggest movies of all time. Nope, Leonardo DiCaprio doesn't come back from the dead and no, Kate Winslet doesn't do a walk-in cameo. This is a brand new story placed in present day with a brand new Titanic dubbed "The Titanic II".

Titanic 2 takes place exactly 100 years after the first Titanic sank. To commemorate the occasion, a new Titanic is created with a much stronger and more durable design. It tries to outdo the original Titanic, by completing the course that the original ship set out to do. Unforunately for the Titanic II, the world isn't what it once was, and is now threatened by the dangers of global warming. For you see, the melting ice caps in the north are causing giant tidal waves in the Atlantic — waves coming straight for the Titanic II.

So imagine everything you loved about the original Titanic; the grandeur, the romance, the suspense, Billy Zane. Now take away all of that and what you get is Titanic 2. This movie SUCKED! It was so bad in every way but going into it, I knew it was going to suck. I watched and laughed at the trailer, then promised myself that I would watch this movie just so that I could tell people that I watched Titanic 2. Almost like an anti-badge of honor. Let me tell ya folks, it wasn't worth it!

The tip off should have been the knowledge that it was directed by and starred none other than Shane Van Dyke, who also brought us the bombastic Transmorphers 2: Fall of Man last year. Unfortunately, quality and Shane don't got together in a sentence, unless that sentence is "Shane's movies have no redeemable quality". It kinda sucks because I love bad movies, but even I could only stomach so much. Yes, bad acting, bad script and a shoddy production. The thing that's laughable and made the movie semi-watchable was the unintentionally funny production. That is, the whole movie looks like it was shot in a hotel. Okay, so maybe it's not that funny, but still.

So, in case you don't catch my drift: don't watch this movie. However, do watch the trailer (embedded below) and have a laugh. Share it with your friends, because I bet they'll think you're joking, but you're not because "they" actually made this. The nerves of these people. Imagine how much a charity could have used the money they spent making this trash. Til next time, later geeks!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

R.I.P. Evan Tanner

The body of the professional fighter and former UFC champion, Evan Tanner, 37, was found in the Palo Verde mountain area of California on September 8th, 2008. He was found a few miles away from his campsite on foot, with no water, where the temperatures were around 110 degrees fahrenheit. The coroner's report listed the cause of death as from heat exposure.

Tanner left Oceanside, California on September 2nd. On September 4th, he sent a text message to a friend telling him that his motorcycle was out of gas, that he was out of water, and if his friend didn't hear from him the next day, to call the authorities. Unfortunately, Evan never returned home.

I'm not the hugest MMA fan, I consider myself a casual fan, and a n00b at best. I was listening to Dave Meltzer and Bryan Alvarez of the Wrestling Observer Radio, and the story of Tanner's life sounded intriguing.

As fantastic as it sounds, Tanner ventured into the deserts in search of treasure and adventure. I kid you …

The Science of God

Not too long ago, two of my friends had posted their thoughts on evolution and creationism. Both friends shared similar sentiments on the topic (you can view Skylar's here and Keith's here). Coincidence or not, shortly before they made their postings, I purchased a book called The Science of God by Dr. Gerald Schroeder, which was based on the same topic. Unfortunately, at the time of my friend's postings, I had not finished the book, but now I have.

In The Science of God, Schroeder attempts to debunk the dichotomy that exists between science/evolution and creationism. He tries to show that there can exist a duality between the two and that discoveries in science actually prove the story of creation in the bible.

The book can be roughly divided into three categories that being the concepts of time, the second with the biology of evolution, and lastly the concept of free will.

In describing time, he focuses on the 6 days that are explained in the beginning of Genesis. Duri…

Strange.

My layout decided to fuck up, trying to fix it at the moment.

Edit: mushblue was being bitchtarded. I checked other bloggers using the layout and they were having the same problem apparently. I'm trying this new layout, so things might seem funky for a bit.