Skip to main content

DTV Madness: Titanic 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I bet you never thought that they'd make this movie. Well, you're right. Technically, "they" didn't. But someone else did! Yup, our good friends at Asylum Films, who brought us such mockbusters as Transmorphers, The Da Vinci Treasure and The Day the Earth Stopped, produced this spiritual sequel to one of the biggest movies of all time. Nope, Leonardo DiCaprio doesn't come back from the dead and no, Kate Winslet doesn't do a walk-in cameo. This is a brand new story placed in present day with a brand new Titanic dubbed "The Titanic II".

Titanic 2 takes place exactly 100 years after the first Titanic sank. To commemorate the occasion, a new Titanic is created with a much stronger and more durable design. It tries to outdo the original Titanic, by completing the course that the original ship set out to do. Unforunately for the Titanic II, the world isn't what it once was, and is now threatened by the dangers of global warming. For you see, the melting ice caps in the north are causing giant tidal waves in the Atlantic — waves coming straight for the Titanic II.

So imagine everything you loved about the original Titanic; the grandeur, the romance, the suspense, Billy Zane. Now take away all of that and what you get is Titanic 2. This movie SUCKED! It was so bad in every way but going into it, I knew it was going to suck. I watched and laughed at the trailer, then promised myself that I would watch this movie just so that I could tell people that I watched Titanic 2. Almost like an anti-badge of honor. Let me tell ya folks, it wasn't worth it!

The tip off should have been the knowledge that it was directed by and starred none other than Shane Van Dyke, who also brought us the bombastic Transmorphers 2: Fall of Man last year. Unfortunately, quality and Shane don't got together in a sentence, unless that sentence is "Shane's movies have no redeemable quality". It kinda sucks because I love bad movies, but even I could only stomach so much. Yes, bad acting, bad script and a shoddy production. The thing that's laughable and made the movie semi-watchable was the unintentionally funny production. That is, the whole movie looks like it was shot in a hotel. Okay, so maybe it's not that funny, but still.

So, in case you don't catch my drift: don't watch this movie. However, do watch the trailer (embedded below) and have a laugh. Share it with your friends, because I bet they'll think you're joking, but you're not because "they" actually made this. The nerves of these people. Imagine how much a charity could have used the money they spent making this trash. Til next time, later geeks!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Dreamers, Achievers, Believers

It was quite a week last week. It started off on a more heavy note last Sunday, but as the week wore on, things became better and more clear. So let's do a little recap. This is going to be kind of long, so if you find this kind of stuff boring I've inserted pictures of funny cats for your entertainment. So... 1.5 Weeks Ago About 1.5 weeks ago, my friend Jon from Living Room gave me the contact info for his uncle. His uncle is an engineer and apparently was looking for new grads and new hands to hire. That week, I gave him a few calls but he wasn't there when I called him and when he returned my calls, I wasn't here either. We were playing phone tag that week *insert schoolgirl giggle*. Sunday Morning So last Sunday morning, his uncle gave me a call at 9 am (The morning! My weakness! HISS!) and we talked about stuff. I was telling him a bit about school as well as elaborating my work/coop experience as he didn't have my resume yet. So he goes on to tell

George Clooney is UP IN THE AIR!!!

So this is the last in the three movies that I was looking forward to at the end of 2009 (the other two being Bad Lieutenant and Avatar). It's hard to say which movies I enjoyed more because they're all so different, but I can confidently say that I enjoyed all three. Also of the three, this movie is the most realistic when it's all said and done. Up In The Air tells a story about Ryan Bingham, who flies all over America firing people. Laying people off is such a tough thing to do that companies that need to do so hire people like Ryan. It becomes reflective as Ryan sees his own life of isolation at odds compared to the lives of those around him. It's apt that he has such a hollow and thankless job which parallels his own life. Because he's on the road for 250+ days of the year, his own life is quite hollow; with no stable relationships, weakened family ties and no friendships in sight. In fact the first time we see his apartment, I was kind of shocked. Up

Finally, the Xbox 360!!

So as I mentioned in a previous post, I received an Xbox 360 for Christmas from my dad. A great present it was! I've had 3 weeks to enjoy it so I guess I can give you my impressions of it now. First the controller. In truth, I haven't felt a controller this comfortable in my gaming life before. As a child who grew up on the 8-bit generation, with just a directional pad and 2 buttons, there was quite a learning curve getting used to using two analog sticks at the same time. You might say, "Hey Lam, how bout the PS2? You have that machine, and that has analog sticks". True, but of the twenty or so games I have for that, all of them used either only 1 analog stick, or allowed the option to switch on to the directional pad. Using 2 sticks at the same time was at first just uncomfortable. This made for all sorts of trouble as I was playing Gears of War . Luckily for me, I had computer controlled teammates that watched my back. I love the Media Center capabiliti