Skip to main content

DTV Madness: Transmorphers - Fall of Man

Don't adjust your screen or rub your eyes, you read it right the first time. Transmorphers: Fall of Man. Hot on the heels of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen comes this direct-to-video summer mockbuster. Much like the first movie, this movie was strategically released on the same day as it's bigger budget counterpart in an attempt to either profit from the robot movie popularity or from the dyslexic.

The story is basically about a bunch of alien robots who secretly arrive on earth and who lay dormant until woken by an electrical jolt, where they then try to destroy mankind in hopes of dominating the world. Of course, a ragtag band of humans come together in hopes of curbing the robot's big plans.

Apparently T:FoM is a prequel to the first movie, but I was completely unaware as I (un)fortunately didn't see the first one. The plot obviously borrows much from the Transformers movies. But the ripoffs don't stop there. In the final scene, the main lead makes this speech that is almost word for word, the speech given by John Connor from Terminator. I was rolling with laughter during this scene because I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I'm sure there's also a hundred other movies that this movie stole stuff from.

The movie stars some of your favourite actors too. Talented thespians such as Bruce Boxleitner, Jennifer Rubin, and the incomparable, Shane Van Dyke. This movie did not cheap out in casting the best brand name actors. I'm not going to rag on their acting skills because frankly... they were Oscar worthy performances.

So was I entertained? I guess that depends. I didn't fall asleep while watching it, and that's always a good sign. I think this movie made me laugh more than it should of, which is how I stayed awake. It was just so ridiculously bad that I found it entertaining, but certainly this was not a good movie by any stretch of the word. Some of the shortcuts they used were so noticeable too, but I can't fault their low-budget operation. My favourite has to be the CG robots. First of all, they looked shitty. Second of all, they filmed it in such a way that we see the robots from an angled view upwards, so that we'd see the robots from the torso up, with only the sky being a backdrop. The shortcut here is that since we don't have any frame of reference on the ground, they can simply just reuse these shots in any of the scenes that required a robot fighting outside. Comedy!

In the end, I can't condemn or praise this movie anymore than I can with Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. Both movies basically accomplish the same things: action, cheap dialogue, no story. But in this case, at least the budget was probably 100 times smaller... but then again, the profits were probably also 100 times smaller.

If you really want to watch this movie, it's out on DVD now. On second thought, just don't watch it. But DO watch the trailer that I attached via Youtube below. Before I leave you, I'd like to quote one Youtube commenter on this video:

"the quality of this looks like a porno"
-jimbobmoomoo; Youtube user

Glorious. Spoken like a prophet. Later geeks!


Comments

Kevin said…
That was a really, really crappy trailer.

Popular posts from this blog

The Science of God

Not too long ago, two of my friends had posted their thoughts on evolution and creationism. Both friends shared similar sentiments on the topic (you can view Skylar's here and Keith's here). Coincidence or not, shortly before they made their postings, I purchased a book called The Science of God by Dr. Gerald Schroeder, which was based on the same topic. Unfortunately, at the time of my friend's postings, I had not finished the book, but now I have.

In The Science of God, Schroeder attempts to debunk the dichotomy that exists between science/evolution and creationism. He tries to show that there can exist a duality between the two and that discoveries in science actually prove the story of creation in the bible.

The book can be roughly divided into three categories that being the concepts of time, the second with the biology of evolution, and lastly the concept of free will.

In describing time, he focuses on the 6 days that are explained in the beginning of Genesis. Duri…

DTV Madness: Jack Brooks - M.S. and Gingerdead Man 2

Okay, honestly, I think this will be the last DTV post for a while. One man can only take so much shit. I'm only human, I have feelings too. These two movies pushed my limit. I'm going to be in DTV-detox for the next month or so.

Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer

I thought that with a title like this, it couldn't fail. I thought that with a poster like they had, it couldn't fail. Then I realized something... I failed. I failed in thinking that this movie had any hope.

I was expecting some fun horror, mixed with comedy in sort of a Buffy the Vampire Slayer kind of fashion with a bumbling hero and smart quips. I mean, with a title like Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer, was I wrong in expecting a variety of monsters get slayed as the title suggests?

It didn't help much that the monsters looked uber cheesy. They looked like something right out of a Power Rangers episode. But to their credit, at least they stuck with practical make-up and effects rather than CG.

The movie its…

MAX PAYNE was oh so PAYNEFUL!!!

What a failure this was. An EPIC FAILURE~! And I'll tell you why. This movie had everything going for it which was why it made the failure seem so huge. It had star power. It had a very competent director. The visual style was there. It had a simple storyline... a storyline that was basically fuck-proof because it's so basic. The effects (when there were any) were also pretty great. So where did they go wrong?

Pacing.

If the first two-thirds of the film was like the last third, I think it would have been a fine film. Not great by any means, but fine. I mean, there was hardly any action in the first hour. It was all talk and build up. Every 5 minutes I was saying to myself, "okay, something cool is gonna happen now". But it never came. I think had they added 2 or 3 big action sequences during that hour, that it would have helped the film breathe and flow better. I mean, didn't they realize that the source material was an action game?

Max Payne is based…