A Nightmare on Elm Street (remake)

I'm always skeptical of Michael Bay's Platinum Dunes' remakes/reboots of horror movies which seems to be all they live on. Frankly, they have produced a lot of crap, but they did make ones where for the most part I enjoyed (Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake would be one, Friday the 13th would be another). I understand from a business standpoint why movie studios would make these, but from the perspective of a fanboy, it makes no sense. Why play with history? Why recreate the wheel?

Now, I enjoyed the original Nightmare on Elm Street but I can't say that I was the hugest fan of the series. I was exposed to the series later on in life (during my teen years) whereas I was introduced to Friday the 13th at a more young and impressionable age. For that reason, Jason Voorhees was always a more lasting (and life scarring) figure than Freddy Krueger.

The movie follows a bunch of teens as they unravel a mystery surrounding the grisly deaths of a group of teenagers in town. The deaths are peculiar as they all occurred while the victims were asleep. On their search, they unravel a mystery surrounding the town and their childhood past all leading to a man thought to be dead named Freddy Krueger. But their journey is made tougher as they need to stay awake or risk falling asleep and entering the dream world where Krueger dominates.

This movie was crap. The script that they had to work with was terrible and the direction of the movie left lots to be desired. NOES is supposed to be a slasher style horror movie — a genre that prides on high body counts and creative deaths. If I recall correctly, *SPOILER* the movie had a grand total of two deaths. Maybe three, but that's it. At least in the Friday the 13th reboot, even though there weren't many creative deaths, there were still at least a considerable amount of deaths. That's the fun of slashers. They essentially took away the fun. No Johnny-Depp style waterbed death a la the original NOES. And it's not like they made the rest of the movie compelling. Frankly, it was quite boring and sleep inducing. Is it ironic that I fell asleep for parts of a Nightmare on Elm Street? I don't know.

I think the only positive thing I can think of was the casting of Jackie Earle Haley in the role of Freddy Krueger. He had big shoes to fill after Robert Englund perfected the role in the earlier series. Haley worked for me. While Englund's Krueger was more of a wacky, creepy, psychotic killer, Haley was more dark, serious and to the point. Englund's was always fun for the one-liners while Haley's was more for terror.

So folks, this one is a skip. But hey, we're in the middle of the summer blockbuster movie season, so I'm sure you'll find plenty else to go and watch (I take that back, really, there's not anything really good out). Later geeks!

REVIEW HAIKUS!!!! (#3)

It's time for another edition of Review Haikus; a feature I like to write when I'm too lazy to write out full reviews~!!! The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3 Tony Scott schlockfest~! All his movies seem the same. A needless remake. Denzel's a bad-ass. Given up on Travolta. 1 of 2 ain't bad. Public Enemies Well? Disappointed. I expected more from Mann. The pacing felt off. Acting was good though. Man-crush on Depp and Bale. 5 more syllables! Saw VI Yes, another Saw. Harder to tell them apart. Blood, guts, bad story. Why more Saw movies? Each movie makes less and less. End this series now. ====== Later geeks!

Mark Waid's IRREDEEMABLE (Issues #1-7)

(Note: be warned that this review is on the spoiler heavy side, so read at your own discretion if you don't want the story spoiled.) Since I was a teenager, I always had this dream that I would become a quirky movie director and I'd make a bunch of crappy little horror movies to start with, but that my first big movie would be this anti-superhero movie. I dreamed up of an Apocalypse Now -like movie using existing Marvel superheroes where Captain America would go mad, slaughtering the innocent and go into hiding somewhere 'up the river'. There would be a detective like character (possibly superhero) that would be after him, interviewing his former teammates to find out what made the all-American hero go mad. Imagine my surprise when I started reading Irredeemable . Although not exactly the story in my dreams, it's pretty close. I started reading the series this past weekend upon the glowing review that those geeks over at iFanboy put up a few weeks ago. As far a

Call of Duty: Black Ops 3!!!!!!!!!!!! (PS4)

Call of Duty: Black Ops 3 is Activision’s latest entry into the bestselling Call of Duty franchise. Developed by Treyarch Studios, the Black Ops subseries of Call of Duty games has been considered by many as the best of the COD games. Whereas Black Ops 1 and 2 were direct sequels, BO3 seems only to be a spiritual sequel to its predecessors. There is no direct or clear continuation of story from the previous entries. Rather it takes the ideas of mind control and manipulation, and spins off its own story. It’s a futuristic world, where humans are infused with technology (much like Robocop!) and fight alongside and against robots. This time around, you assume the role of an unnamed soldier, who together with your partner Hendricks and a CIA agent named Rachel Kane, track down a former Black Ops commander named John Taylor as he and his former squad appears to have gone rogue destroying CIA sites around the world. The story will take you to Singapore, Egypt and ev

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