Skip to main content

DTV Madness: Joy Ride or Sleepaway Camp? How bout neither!

I've got a crapload of DTV reviews coming out within the next week or so. I don't know why, maybe because it's near Halloween, that companies shit out all these movies around this time. So I watched two this week, Joy Ride 2: Dead Ahead and Return to Sleepaway Camp. I had hopes (not high hopes) for both, as I enjoyed the first Joy Ride and loved, loved, LOVED, the original Sleepaway Camp, but like with most DTV affairs, I was quite let down.

Return to Sleepaway Camp

The first Sleepaway Camp was created obviously to milk off the success of other slasher flicks at the time, notably Friday the 13th. It was a complete low-rent production, complete with bad acting and bad dialogue. The saving grace in the movie came at the ending. Anyone who's seen this movie could not possibly forget the ending, it's one of those things you just can't unsee. However, if you need a reminder or a spoiler...

[Inviso-Text Spoilers (highlite with your mouse): The main character, Angela turned out to be the mystery killer... and turned out to be a boy!!! At the end, she does a full frontal on screen, with penis fully exposed. She had a knife in one hand, a boy's decapitated head on another, a body by her feet, with shock/crazy music in the background. I couldn't stop saying 'holy shit' when it happened. It was crazy. End Spoiler.]

Although there were a few sequels after the original, Return to Sleepaway Camp was treated as a direct sequel to the first movie. Interestingly enough, after 25 years, the original director returned to take the helm.

In short, the movie was about a boy named Alan who was spending his summer at a camp. He was constantly picked on by his fellow campers which led to a series of grisly murders... only we don't know for sure if Alan was the culprit. Basically, the movie is an hour and half of watching this kid getting picked on, while a few camp counselors wonder if it could be the homicidal maniac, Angela, from the first movie.

Man, this movie sucked. The acting was horrendous, the script was bad, the plot was awful, the kills sucked... this movie had nothing going for it. The main character Alan though he was picked on all the time, was totally unsympathetic. He was quite an asshole, so it basically justified all the mistreatment. Another thing that was annoying was that there were a whole bunch of characters that would just randomly disappear through out the movie. They were never killed, nor were they ever hinted at being killed (even if offscreen), so there's no resolution to a whole lot of them. Even the one girl who feels sorry for him, and it's hinted that she may be the murderer, disappears herself. I mean, she seems like an important character, in that she appears to be Alan's only friend.

There were only two things that stood out in this movie: 1. when Alan called the head camp counselor a "Big Pussy" (he was played by Vincent Pastore... aka. 'Big Pussy' Salvatore from The Sopranos), 2. the chef was played by Issac Hayes (aka. Chef from South Park). This was clearly aimed towards us geeks. There ends the good points.

Joy Ride 2: Dead Ahead

There were zero redeeming factors in this movie.

The premise was similar to the first movie. A trucker named Rusty Nails stalks a bunch of young adults as they had "borrowed" his car without permission. I guess he was angry about that. He attempts to pluck them off one by one as well as any innocent bystanders in the way. I heard being a trucker is hard work, and I suppose it could make you into a looney killer.

The original Joy Ride was good because it played more like a suspense-thriller and it really had your heart pumping. Two of the characters, Steve Zahn's and Leelee Sobieski's were quite sympathetic too, so we could feel for them. For its DTV sequel, they hired a bunch of Z-list no-namers, with acting skills of what you'd expect from a DTV movie. For this sequel they leaned more towards the horror end of things, with a few gory kills, but not many. Unlike the first movie, there just isn't that same sense of dread or suspense. Plus all the characters are pretty much douche-bags so we couldn't care less whether they lived or died.

There was obviously a disconnect between the director and the material. There was one dude who outright said, if you'd like to use labels, you can call me an emo-punk. This guy was in no way "emo", but perhaps he was because he had 2 lip piercings and he mentioned Myspace. Apparently, that makes you "emo". Now, I've been to dozens and dozens of emo concerts, and I've never seen a dude like that. The only label I'd throw on this guy would be the Douche label, yes, with a capital D.

Fortunately for JR2, they are backed by 20th Century Fox, so no doubt we'll hear about this movie, and in fact I've seen the commercial for it numerous times on TV this week. But it's just sad to see another studio produced piece of shit. I mean, I'm sure there are hundreds of young movie makers out there with far more talent who would jump at the opportunity for a few million bucks to make a movie... And I'm sure it'd be more decent.

Conclusion

Don't watch these movies. Later geeks!

Comments

Missy said…
I love the first one, didn't know they made a sequel.
Kevin said…
I'm glad about your quality movie selections. Sounds like fun.

Anyways, Happy late Thanksgiving.

As an aside, have you noticed how many profile views I have now? That's pretty crazy :P.
The Lam said…
@missy:
Yes they did, don't watch it!

@Laundry:
Happy Late Thanksgiving to you too! No, I haven't noticed the many views, congrats tho!
Halliwood said…
I'm shocked that Joy Ride 2 sucks. Just kidding, I have no expectations for this movie what so ever. Wasn't even much of a fan of the first one, but at least it was original. Oh well, Hollywood keeps pushing crap out to us. Still not sure why we keep watch though. Trying to watch more of the low budget films, what they lack in big names and effects they make up for in stories.
Unknown said…
watched it. whats wrong with the truck driver? so psycho. huhu.

Popular posts from this blog

Dreamers, Achievers, Believers

It was quite a week last week. It started off on a more heavy note last Sunday, but as the week wore on, things became better and more clear. So let's do a little recap. This is going to be kind of long, so if you find this kind of stuff boring I've inserted pictures of funny cats for your entertainment. So... 1.5 Weeks Ago About 1.5 weeks ago, my friend Jon from Living Room gave me the contact info for his uncle. His uncle is an engineer and apparently was looking for new grads and new hands to hire. That week, I gave him a few calls but he wasn't there when I called him and when he returned my calls, I wasn't here either. We were playing phone tag that week *insert schoolgirl giggle*. Sunday Morning So last Sunday morning, his uncle gave me a call at 9 am (The morning! My weakness! HISS!) and we talked about stuff. I was telling him a bit about school as well as elaborating my work/coop experience as he didn't have my resume yet. So he goes on to tell

George Clooney is UP IN THE AIR!!!

So this is the last in the three movies that I was looking forward to at the end of 2009 (the other two being Bad Lieutenant and Avatar). It's hard to say which movies I enjoyed more because they're all so different, but I can confidently say that I enjoyed all three. Also of the three, this movie is the most realistic when it's all said and done. Up In The Air tells a story about Ryan Bingham, who flies all over America firing people. Laying people off is such a tough thing to do that companies that need to do so hire people like Ryan. It becomes reflective as Ryan sees his own life of isolation at odds compared to the lives of those around him. It's apt that he has such a hollow and thankless job which parallels his own life. Because he's on the road for 250+ days of the year, his own life is quite hollow; with no stable relationships, weakened family ties and no friendships in sight. In fact the first time we see his apartment, I was kind of shocked. Up

Let the good times roll!

Welcome to the revamped Billionty-Oneth Geek website! First of all, update your bookmarks and re-subscribe to the feed if you have to. I bought a domain name for my blog, and it's easy access (sort of) through www.billiontyonethgeek.com (I'm sorry that it's such a long address, but hey, here's a hug *hug*). Second of all, you might have noticed the new layout. It's a complete Lam original! I designed it from the top down. It actually took a lot quicker than I had initially thought it would. Because the coding didn't show up properly on Dreamweaver through the GUI, I actually had to code the whole damn thing. Because my knowledge of HTML and CSS were so basic, it took a lot of trial and error. What's frustrating was that there would be times where I'd make a change in the code, yet nothing ended up changing when I uploaded the code. The weird part was that I'd block off the changes, then undo it, and somehow magically the changes appeared.