Skip to main content

DTV Madness: MONGOLIAN DEATH WORM!!!!!!

"A SyFy Original Movie". That should have been the tip off.

This was a bad movie and again I fell for it when I saw the title. Mongolian Death Worm. I have to watch it, I thought to myself. I can't even find any images or posters of this movie, it's at that sort of level.

The movie takes place in Mongolia and follows a treasure seeker named Daniel who is trying to uncover the lost treasures of one Ghengis Khan. According to local folklore, giant mythical death worms guard Khan's buried goods. Meanwhile, an American oil drilling company has set up shop in the desserts of Mongolia, exploiting the land for the oil. Unfortunately their drilling awakens the supposed legendary worms and they come to the surface hungry... hungry for human flesh.

First of all, what's funny about this movie is that it takes place in Mongolia. Normally this wouldn't be funny at all, but watching this movie, you cannot distinguish between Mongolia and the rural areas of Mid-Western United States. It looks EXACTLY like any rural area you've ever been to. On top of that, there's a sheriff character who is asian (and supposedly Mongolian) but he's dressed up like a sheriff from a cowboy movie. It's pretty hilarious, intentional or not. In fact, except for a few asian characters, there's nothing remotely close to convince you that they're out of the US.

The movie stars Sean Patrick Flannery and Victoria Pratt, so stars with modest amount of notoriety. Flannery plays it by the books for most of the movie, but for the last 15 minutes it's as if he realizes that this movie is utterly ridiculous. He turns up his energy tenfold and becomes this wacky character, making the dull movie slightly more entertaining.

So yah, the movie was bad. But, you get what you pay for and since it was shown on the SyFy Network for free, you probably paid nothing for it. But even though you didn't pay any monetary price per se, you paid with your time, and this is one and a half hours that I won't be getting back. But hey, what can I say, I'm a sucker for bad movies. Later geeks!

Comments

j-yeezy said…
That looks SOOO bad! Coulda been filmed somewhere in Ontario too.....
The Lam said…
LOL, yah, definitely! Was no good!
But it's got the dude from Boondock Saints!

Popular posts from this blog

The League of Denial (2013)

The topic of concussions in sports is a dialogue that’s been growing the past number of years.  Do a search on ‘concussions’ and ‘football’ and you’ll get several thousand hits on the controversy that’s surrounded the sport.  It’s a challenging topic as the research is all relatively new, and the topic itself challenges the mentality and philosophy adopted by football loving Americans.  Now, I’m not a fan of football or NFL but when I saw this book lying at the local bookstore, my interest was piqued.  Although I’m not a fan of football, those that know me know that I’m an unabashed fan of prowrestling.  Talks about concussions are also quite a hot topic even within the prowrestling sub-culture.  Earlier this year, one of the hottest wrestlers of the current era, Daniel Bryan, retired early at the age of 34 due to a history of concussion related issues.  Interestingly, he was not permitted to return to the ring due to the disapproval by WWE’s medic...

A Lion's Tale: Around the World in Spandex

As part of my "campaign of cheapness", the past 3 months I've been going to the Indigo bookstore downtown about twice a week to read Chris Jericho's autobiography A Lion's Tale: Around the World in Spandex . I'd park down for about 1.5 to 2 hours per visit and it took 3 months to do, but I finally finished it. Let it be known, that Jericho was my favourite wrestler from 1997 to 2002 (it only lasted this long because from 2002-07, I stopped watching/following wrestling completely). I learned of him during my junior high school years when me and my friends would watch WWF and WCW programming religiously. I knew there was something that stood out in Chris, it might have been his style of fighting, his comedic arrogance on the mic or his boyish good looks. Well whatever it was, I believed in him. My friends at the time were skeptical, but I would argue with them why he was so great. It was during his cruiserweight feud with Dean Malenko that really brought ou...

MAX PAYNE was oh so PAYNEFUL!!!

What a failure this was. An EPIC FAILURE~! And I'll tell you why. This movie had everything going for it which was why it made the failure seem so huge. It had star power. It had a very competent director. The visual style was there. It had a simple storyline... a storyline that was basically fuck-proof because it's so basic. The effects (when there were any) were also pretty great. So where did they go wrong? Pacing. If the first two-thirds of the film was like the last third, I think it would have been a fine film. Not great by any means, but fine. I mean, there was hardly any action in the first hour. It was all talk and build up. Every 5 minutes I was saying to myself, "okay, something cool is gonna happen now". But it never came. I think had they added 2 or 3 big action sequences during that hour, that it would have helped the film breathe and flow better. I mean, didn't they realize that the source material was an action game? Max Payne is ba...