Skip to main content

Retro Rebound: James Cameron's PIRANHA 2!!!

In celebration of Avatar becoming the largest (unadjusted) grossing movie of all time, I thought I'd go back and review one of James Cameron's earlier works. It's time again to get into the wayback machine. Let's return to 1981; a time before CG in movies, before Aliens and Terminators... to a time when it was possible for James Cameron to make shitty movies. Unfathomable!

I watched the original Piranha about 3 years ago and I loved it. It was the exact balance of cheekiness and horror that you'd want in a low budget horror flick. A movie trying to capitalize on the fame of Jaws except with killer piranhas, how could it be bad? It was great. This sequel? It was not.

A big problem with the movie was the incoherent story. The way they cut the film made it hard to follow the main story and all the side stories of the supporting characters. On top of that, random characters are introduced, disappear and then reappear much later. As far as I can remember (yesterday), the movie takes place on a Caribbean resort with killer piranhas lurking in the seas. There are a bunch of characters and they get eaten by them. The end.

If you're a fan of B-movies and bad horror movies, then Piranha 2 would probably be passable. That said, I love bad movies and even I had a hard time liking this movie. I would not put my friends through this unless it was to prove that James Cameron at one time did make bad movies. Aside from the confusing storyline and lack of a climax (almost needed movies like this), I just hated that the piranhas could fly. You read that right. Flying fish! It was just ridiculous and probably too over-the-top. I can believe in killer fishes but not flying fishes.

The movie is gory so it has that going for it, but it is certainly not scary. The only scene I found really scary was actually a scene played for laughs at the beginning. One of the characters holds up a live fish to a woman's face while she's sleeping, only to stare at it as she wakes. This frightened me. My close friends will tell you that fish is one of my biggest fears. I think I would shit myself if someone did that to me.

So as the movie progressed, I found it harder to believe that the same man who directed this movie would 3 years later, direct The Terminator... that 5 years later he would direct Aliens... that 17 years later he would direct Titanic... that 28 years later he would direct Avatar. I wonder while he was directing this, did he have any idea how iconic he'd become years later. Unfathomable.

Anyhow, it's 2 in the morning now. I should sleep, but before I leave you, I made an animated gif of James Cameron laughing at us because he's rich and we're not. Later geeks!

"I'm rich bitch!"

Comments

Beka said…
I can't see the animated gif!

Man. Piranhas are like the Jeff-Beka nightmare. First of all, they're fish. Second of all, they have sharp teeth. Third of all, they can kill you.

Minnows still freak me out sometimes. So I'd have no idea what I would do if I ever saw a piranha...

Popular posts from this blog

Dreamers, Achievers, Believers

It was quite a week last week. It started off on a more heavy note last Sunday, but as the week wore on, things became better and more clear. So let's do a little recap. This is going to be kind of long, so if you find this kind of stuff boring I've inserted pictures of funny cats for your entertainment. So... 1.5 Weeks Ago About 1.5 weeks ago, my friend Jon from Living Room gave me the contact info for his uncle. His uncle is an engineer and apparently was looking for new grads and new hands to hire. That week, I gave him a few calls but he wasn't there when I called him and when he returned my calls, I wasn't here either. We were playing phone tag that week *insert schoolgirl giggle*. Sunday Morning So last Sunday morning, his uncle gave me a call at 9 am (The morning! My weakness! HISS!) and we talked about stuff. I was telling him a bit about school as well as elaborating my work/coop experience as he didn't have my resume yet. So he goes on to tell

George Clooney is UP IN THE AIR!!!

So this is the last in the three movies that I was looking forward to at the end of 2009 (the other two being Bad Lieutenant and Avatar). It's hard to say which movies I enjoyed more because they're all so different, but I can confidently say that I enjoyed all three. Also of the three, this movie is the most realistic when it's all said and done. Up In The Air tells a story about Ryan Bingham, who flies all over America firing people. Laying people off is such a tough thing to do that companies that need to do so hire people like Ryan. It becomes reflective as Ryan sees his own life of isolation at odds compared to the lives of those around him. It's apt that he has such a hollow and thankless job which parallels his own life. Because he's on the road for 250+ days of the year, his own life is quite hollow; with no stable relationships, weakened family ties and no friendships in sight. In fact the first time we see his apartment, I was kind of shocked. Up

Let the good times roll!

Welcome to the revamped Billionty-Oneth Geek website! First of all, update your bookmarks and re-subscribe to the feed if you have to. I bought a domain name for my blog, and it's easy access (sort of) through www.billiontyonethgeek.com (I'm sorry that it's such a long address, but hey, here's a hug *hug*). Second of all, you might have noticed the new layout. It's a complete Lam original! I designed it from the top down. It actually took a lot quicker than I had initially thought it would. Because the coding didn't show up properly on Dreamweaver through the GUI, I actually had to code the whole damn thing. Because my knowledge of HTML and CSS were so basic, it took a lot of trial and error. What's frustrating was that there would be times where I'd make a change in the code, yet nothing ended up changing when I uploaded the code. The weird part was that I'd block off the changes, then undo it, and somehow magically the changes appeared.