Skip to main content

My Bloody Valentine in glorious 3D!

What a movie. What a MOVIE! Okay, this movie was in no way great. It was good for what it's worth, but compared to other slasher legends, this one is just another run of the mill horror flick. What it has going for it is it's gimmick. It's all about the gimmick! I have no doubt that were this not in glorious 3D, that this would go straight to DVD.

This movie is boasting that it's the first rated R movie to be fully in 3D. I suppose all the ones in the 80's don't count because they weren't fully 3D. I have to admit, the use of 3D in this movie is fun, and in the end, is what saves this movie from complete disaster. Body parts, blood, and boobs are always flying at you off the screen, making for an enjoyable time at the cinemas.

I'm not going to go through the plot because, well, slasher's are hardly ever about the plot. It's all about the kills. "A killer is on the prowl in a small town, killing off the townsfolk left and right". There. Tag that on to any slasher flick. Our killer in this movie is a supposed disgruntled miner named Harry Warden. He wears a thick suit, a gas mask, and sports a pick-axe to boot. He's passable as a killer. I mean, I guess it'd be scary if he just popped up in your house uninvited.

What the film really lacked were characters that we could care for. All the characters were pretty much assholes. With the exception of the main girl, they all had it coming.

As a slasher fan, I would have appreciated some ingenuity with the kills. There are arguably 2 fun kills, but they're all hampered by the fact that all the kills in the movie were done by a pick-axe. I think that's why Friday the 13th is my favourite series. That bastard Jason Voorhees is one clever mother fucker. He comes up with all sorts of ways to kill people, from party whistles to sleeping bags.

One of the most over the top scenes was this 5 minute scene with Betsy Rue baring her all. Now, as a Christian man, I can't go as far as to glorify the scene, but just to think of what this adds to the lexicon of modern cinema amazes me. It's over the top and hilarious which is why I think it works. Judging by the crowd reaction during the scene, I'd say it was a fan favourite. If it was meant to be erotic rather than funny, I don't think it would have garnered the same reaction. I have to give Betsy Rue all the credit, she is one bold girl. She's not afraid to bare it all and apparently is not afraid of the cold one bit.

I say, if you're going to see it, see it in 3D or don't see it at all. Later geeks.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Dreamers, Achievers, Believers

It was quite a week last week. It started off on a more heavy note last Sunday, but as the week wore on, things became better and more clear. So let's do a little recap. This is going to be kind of long, so if you find this kind of stuff boring I've inserted pictures of funny cats for your entertainment. So... 1.5 Weeks Ago About 1.5 weeks ago, my friend Jon from Living Room gave me the contact info for his uncle. His uncle is an engineer and apparently was looking for new grads and new hands to hire. That week, I gave him a few calls but he wasn't there when I called him and when he returned my calls, I wasn't here either. We were playing phone tag that week *insert schoolgirl giggle*. Sunday Morning So last Sunday morning, his uncle gave me a call at 9 am (The morning! My weakness! HISS!) and we talked about stuff. I was telling him a bit about school as well as elaborating my work/coop experience as he didn't have my resume yet. So he goes on to tell

The Science of God

Not too long ago, two of my friends had posted their thoughts on evolution and creationism. Both friends shared similar sentiments on the topic (you can view Skylar's here and Keith's here ). Coincidence or not, shortly before they made their postings, I purchased a book called The Science of God by Dr. Gerald Schroeder, which was based on the same topic. Unfortunately, at the time of my friend's postings, I had not finished the book, but now I have. In The Science of God , Schroeder attempts to debunk the dichotomy that exists between science/evolution and creationism. He tries to show that there can exist a duality between the two and that discoveries in science actually prove the story of creation in the bible. The book can be roughly divided into three categories that being the concepts of time, the second with the biology of evolution, and lastly the concept of free will. In describing time, he focuses on the 6 days that are explained in the beginning of Genes

MAX PAYNE was oh so PAYNEFUL!!!

What a failure this was. An EPIC FAILURE~! And I'll tell you why. This movie had everything going for it which was why it made the failure seem so huge. It had star power. It had a very competent director. The visual style was there. It had a simple storyline... a storyline that was basically fuck-proof because it's so basic. The effects (when there were any) were also pretty great. So where did they go wrong? Pacing. If the first two-thirds of the film was like the last third, I think it would have been a fine film. Not great by any means, but fine. I mean, there was hardly any action in the first hour. It was all talk and build up. Every 5 minutes I was saying to myself, "okay, something cool is gonna happen now". But it never came. I think had they added 2 or 3 big action sequences during that hour, that it would have helped the film breathe and flow better. I mean, didn't they realize that the source material was an action game? Max Payne is